Will’s Birthday Breakfast.

Today has felt like 4 days in one. 

Maybe part of it is that the 4 meals I had seemed like they were each a day apart.

Just kidding. It wasn’t that bad. 

This morning I contemplated the fact that I woke up hungry today. I realized that I’ve been waking up hungry for a couple of months now.

I remember waking up hungry a lot as a child. But, back then, I didn’t eat emotionally. I ate when it was meal time or when I was hungry. I never stuffed myself right before I went to bed.

About 5th grade I became aware of my body (fat/skinny wise) and how it stacked up against other girls body’s. It wasn’t puberty, and the thoughts didn’t just appear out of thin air. They were introduced and nurtured by television programs, adult women in my life, teenage girls in my life, and girls my same age at the time. 

By 7th grade I was beginning to think of food as something that made you fat. And, as something I needed to take and keep control of. This thought process opened the door to erratic eating behaviors and a screwy relationship with food. 

A relationship I’m still battling to tame and balance.

Yay!